ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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