would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
My balls are so social today.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
