I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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