I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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