living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
