just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
