Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
