so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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