what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
