Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
