So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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