could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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