i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
