Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
