We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
