we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
