I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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