He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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