Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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