Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
