Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
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he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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