Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
