Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
