Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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