Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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