What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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