So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
