i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Dear god my vagina.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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