I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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