Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
