dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
