We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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