Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
