she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
