I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It's blow job season.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
