You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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