I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
