took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
