Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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