I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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