The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize