i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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