i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
