Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
