i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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