i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
