He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
