oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
just tell him i said nine months
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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