So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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