Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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