Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
