Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
